Why?

I honestly have no idea why I go out? I could have been at home in bed doing something productive and getting much needed rest.
But no I did it again I stayed out, admittedly I didn’t spend any money.
But I did everything I have been trying to avoid, smoke drink and eat shit because I got home just now at 4am fucking starving because I hadn’t eaten in 12 hours.
Eating whatever was in front of me.
I am not drunk nor did I get drunk, I only had 3 double jack Daniels and diet coke over the course of about 6 hours but it’s still alcohol, in my system.

Not only that, I wouldn’t have smoked at all today because I can’t afford to, but then I go out and cigarettes are everywhere as 90% of the people I am with smoke.

I need a good month and a bit away from bars.